You’re not wrong.

“Not wrong, just different.”

Julie Stephens

This is another of those phrases that my Mom gifted me that has changed my life.  For real.

I used to get stuck on the fact that I was right.  My way or the highway. I had a decent track record of making good-ish decisions, so my ‘experience’ led me to believe that I was historically correct…therefore right.

I’ve used this philosophy in all kinds of walks in my life from home to work, and have since ditched it. But first, the story…

This became a problem in my marriage. And honestly, one that rears its ugly head now and again.  But the first time that my Mom talked me off the ledge over the phone and told me this phrase it was something that I couldn’t argue with, and frankly couldn’t unlearn.  I had to adapt to this philosophy to keep the peace.  I don’t even recall what the topic was, but I was convinced that my husband was wrong about it – and, I of course, was right.  I thought for damned sure that my Mom was going to side with me…being flesh and blood and all.  Nope.  She didn’t side with either of us. 

She just kept repeating, “Not wrong.  Just different.”

Let me give you a few examples of how this may apply in your life – not only with personal finances, but life.

  • Toilet paper, over the top – instead of paper from the bottom.  Not right, not wrong; just different.
  • Using a credit card for ‘points’ – instead of using cash. Not right, not wrong; just different.
  • Paying off debt by balance – instead of interest amount. Not right, not wrong; just different.
  • Saving for kids’ college funds – instead of letting them fund their own education. Not right, not wrong; just different.
  • Pre-washing the dishes before they go in the dishwasher – instead of letting the dishwasher take care of the gunk. Not right, not wrong; just different.
  • Paying an accountant to do your taxes – instead of doing it on your own. Not right, not wrong; just different.
  • Attending community college first – instead of going straight to a university. Not right, not wrong; just different.
  • Utilizing a coach to help you tackle your finance, business or health goals – instead of doing that DIY You Tube version.  Not right, not wrong; just different.

These are not right or wrong moral decisions, they’re just different.  These aren’t worth getting bent out of shape about.  If you’re convinced that your TP needs to be under instead of over, more power to you. If you want your kids to earn their education instead of saving up for them, I’ll borrow one of my friend’s favorite responses, “I support you.”

The choices and the decisions that you make day after day are yours to make. You have to live with them, not me.  

I think that the more than we can have tolerance and understanding of this idea of ‘not wrong – just different’ the better we would appreciate each other’s perspectives. 

Sarah VanHoose, Journey to Influence

Instead of instinctively getting defensive or agitated by an opposing idea – perhaps we’d be more prone to listen to hear…and then be okay with appreciating another perspective, not calling it out for being wrong.

There are a lot of different ways to manage your finances.  They’re not right or wrong necessarily, just different.  I found a way of managing money that decreased my stress and allowed our finances to flourish, tackling goals and making plans to see our dreams come true.

I’m on a mission to share that philosophy with the world…or at least my audience.  Know why?  Because I want the same life changing experience for you.  Is that wrong?  No – just different.

Have you downloaded the free guide to THRIVE with your finances? What are you waiting for? Get your copy here.

Thank you for joining me on my my journey to influence.

Sarah is a Ramsey Preferred Coach
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